A lot of people no matter how much they’ve already achieved still experience a deep fear of failure. Success and past accomplishments are often not enough to silence that inner fear. But why?
Fear of failure can feel like an invisible hand holding us back. It can stop us from trying new things, applying for jobs, asking for a promotion, stepping into new relationships, or putting ourselves out there in any meaningful way. At its core, it’s not just fear of the outcome it’s often fear of others seeing us fail.
This fear is closely tied to self-esteem. Many of us grew up internalizing the idea that life is split between winners and losers that if we win, we are successful and worthy, but if we lose, we have failed. This all-or-nothing mindset can deeply affect how we view risk, growth, and self-worth.
It’s important to understand that when fear of failure becomes extreme to the point where we feel emotionally paralysed or completely avoid valuable opportunitiesit may relate to something called atychiphobia. This word comes from Greek: ατυχία (unluckiness) + φόβος (fear), meaning the fear of being unlucky.
Atychiphobia is a form of anxiety, and like other phobias, it doesn’t always come from rational thinking. It can lead to avoidance behaviors and self-sabotage. But the good news is: it’s treatable.
One of the most powerful tools is a mindset shift. We can begin by challenging the idea that failure defines us. Not achieving something doesn’t mean we’ve failed it simply means we had an experience, and every experience is a chance to learn.
Adopting a growth mindset means understanding that setbacks are part of the process, and they don’t affect our value or worth as people.
Another effective method for managing fear-based avoidance is exposure therapy. Rather than jumping from 0 to 100, we can gradually face the things we fear in small, manageable step what many describe as stepping into the stretch zone. One small act of courage each day can build resilience and confidence over time.
Therapeutic Tools
Support from a therapist can be incredibly helpful. Some effective strategies include:
- CBT thought reframing
- Mindfulness and breathing techniques
- Growth mindset journaling
- Graded exposure therapy
All of these help you recognise that your fear is real but it doesn’t have to define your actions.
Fear of failure doesn’t mean you’re weak or unmotivated. It means you care. It means you want to get it right. But growth asks us to get it wrong sometimes too—and trust that we’ll still be okay.
What’s one small, brave step you could take today?
With light,
Angel
Founder, Fws Rewrite | Mental Health Coach & Counsellor
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